It was the first time I would perform with my new band, Tonight Alive. The first stop of the tour was in Sydney. This tour had the best line up any girl could have dreamed of. The hottest boys, the best music and the best scene. We (Tonight Alive) were headlining supported by Heroes For Hire, Alexisonfire and Parkway Drive.
Jake and I decided to skate to the venue. I wasn’t very confident skateboarding yet so I hopped on the back of his. Jake guided my hands onto his muscular chest and told me softly “hold on beautiful”. The rest of the boys in the van could not have had as much fun as us. They probably would have been angry if they knew what we were doing while we waited for them to get there. They always get jealous when another boy gets one on one time with me.
It was a steamy Friday night at Acer Arena. I made my way through to backstage to watch Parkway Drive and saw hot emo boys flooding the mosh. When they opened with “Love Is Dead”, the pits turned into a battlefield. Kids were getting pulled out of the mosh dripping with blood but that didn’t stop Winston. He is the most hardcore and brutal person you’ll ever meet. I went to Heroes’ dressing room because Alexisonfire were on next. Lee, Potter and Duane were still changing but they didn’t mind me seeing them considering I wasn’t fully dressed either. “Hey bitches, where’s Brad?” I asked them with a wink. Mesmerised by my entrance Duane replied with a delay “umm… erm… He went to go mooch food”. “Thanks babe!” I said as I strutted like a model back down the hallway.
As I entered the room I noticed Brad was eating a tub of fried chicken in the corner of the room, seductively. On the other side of the room Matt, Cam, Whak and Jake were giggling like teenage girls at a slumber party while playing truth or dare. I ran over to Brad, tackled him down and licked his cheek. He didn’t make any effort to get me off him. My boys were glaring at Brad angrily. It was so cute. Matt dived across the room and joined in on the tackle. I motioned to the other boys to join in. After a good ten minutes of “tackling” the manager peeked in through the door “you’re on in five, Brad” he said awkwardly, uncomfortable with what we were doing. I grabbed Brad’s ass as he stood up to leave because it looked really sexy in his new skinny jeans. The boys exchanged looks of disgust.
Heroes performed amazingly but then it was our turn to kill it. I took the mic in hand and started to sing the opening song, Thankyou and Goodnight. I looked down at a girl in the front row with a drop dead backpack and it reminded me of myself just a few months ago. My mind was drifting off thinking about how far I’d come when suddenly in the corner of my eye I spotted the hot emo guy she was holding hands with. Mark Hoppus then walked on stage to sing his part. I took the opportunity when I wasn’t singing to lean over the barrier and kiss the scene sex god. When I got bored I got back up on stage, hugged Mark then waved him off. The rest of the set was perfect. I stage dived like five times and the crowd was insane.
As I walked out of the venue with drunken Brad walking on my side like a staggering whale I saw his head jerk suddenly towards the main highway. I followed his gaze and saw a KFC family bucket in the middle of the road. “No!” I yelled but it was already too late. The Tonight Alive tour van was speeding towards the starving Inuit. I couldn’t look so I turned away and closed my eyes but the screeching thud made me faint.
I woke up in the hotel bed with my boys. The vibe suddenly changed. I got up and started screaming “You put that fried chicken in the middle of the road, didn’t you!?” The boys all lay there in silence. “Who was driving the car!?” I cried. They all looked at Whak. He smiled innocently while stroking his moustache then replied simply with “oops”. The rest of the boys snickered. My emotions took over so I grabbed the nearest pillow and started smacking them with it. Before I knew it the beating became playful and we were all laughing. When the pillow fight fizzled out I asked them, “seriously though, why did you do it?” The boys sat awkwardly for a moment then Cam finally confessed, “We did it because we were jealous, okay. We love you and we don’t want to share you with anyone.” Interrupting the speech, the remaining boys from Heroes For Hire entered in melancholy and announced that they were replacing Brad with Jenna.
And so the majestic dolphin replaced the staggering whale… To be continued…
I was in a rush for school so I only had 40 minutes to do my makeup and hair. School was so shit, though I got to complete my nude portrait of Shaun Diviney in art. The rest of the boys in my class chose to draw girls. I got back to my locker after art class and noticed the dinosaur that I had sketched saying “@xfelixrawrx” had been graffitied on. The “rawr” was crossed out with black marker and replaced with “faggot”. No one understands me. A tear ran down my porcelain face as I ran to the boy’s bathroom.
In the cubical I blasted my ipod into my ears. I didn’t care if I went deaf, I didn’t want to listen to people’s shit anymore. Tonight Alive’s new song “Starlight” came on shuffle. It was fate. The song was so relatable to my situation; “I guess it’s kind of funny how we can throw away our money”. To me these lyrics meant; be your self, gay or straight, black or white, red or brown. I snuck out of the cubical like a mouse avoiding a cat, I was jerry and the rest of the boys where tom.
I skipped school and went to Town Hall, I like breaking rules and stepping outside the box. On Town Hall steps there was a group of cute guys all wearing band shirts; Tonight Alive, Fireworks, Skyway and Parkway Drive. They got up and started to walk away so I followed them to Hyde Park. I approached the guy in the Fireworks shirt and told him Katy Perry was my idol. He obviously liked me because he laughed so I sat down in the punk crew. As I refreshed twitter on my iPhone, I realised it was already 3:30 and I had to get home. I asked my new friends what they were doing that night and they told me Hot Damn so I said I would meet them there and winked in a flirtatious manner.
I borrowed an ID from a fellow attractive scene boy, he was almost as hot as me and I got in. As I strutted through the club like a model on a catwalk I saw my punk friends with my sexy idols; Tonight Alive. Being too shy to hug the boys I made beeline for Jenna. While I hugged her I ran my fingers through her cascading silk hair, depositing the single stand that caught on my diamontied bangle in my pocket to flog on ebay later. Cam looked at me, recognition in his sparkling turquoise eyes “aren’t you the guy who got kicked out of the Short Stack concert last week for getting into a punch up with a twelve year old girl for Shaun Diviney’s water bottle?” I laughed, “she was actually eleven” with a look of guilty pleasure playing about my face. They looked at each other in awe; they knew I was worthy of their friendship. Quick to the draw, Whakaio walked over to me and took my hand to dance like a Spaniard. The other boys looked jealous while Jen rolled her eyes and walked away like an angry peasant whose rations had been cut.
Whakaio twirled me around, I felt like a princess. Jake, Cam and Matt were watching Whak and I enviously while whispering to each other like three old women gossiping. They advanced on us like a wolf pack to a wounded deer. “Whak, we need to talk” Matt said with a seductive deep rumbling tone. I heard their cries from the bar “you always steal the hot guys!” Jake belted out. Cam landed a punch to Whakaio’s jaw, it was Short Stack all over again. Matt stepped in, he grabbed Cam’s thin but toned waist with his strong drummer’s arms and threw him over the bar into the glass drink cabinet. Jake helped Cam up. His face was covered in blood like a warrior, so sexy. As they all dived in to a full force brawl, I couldn’t help but smile smugly to myself. Tonight Alive were fighting over me, I could finally be proud of who I was.
Today was the day, a sunny Saturday morning, Tonight Alive were playing at the roundhouse tonight. It’s my favourite venue because I saw Asking Alexandria there. Blasting some Tonight Alive as loud as it could go, I danced around in my underwear then put my skinny jeans and Mayday Parade tee on. I looked up toward my Tonight Alive posters and while I sang along to the lyrics “she is dressed to kill” I kissed Jenna softly on the lips then proceeded to kiss the boys passionately with “and he is to die for”. I imagined stripping Cam down and putting him on a shelf in my room, grabbing his incredible jaw and doing a kiss suck lip bite. I just want to bite those lips so hard until they almost bleed. I would lick him clean of that blood. Then the next morning I would bring him scrambled eggs and run my fingertips gently through his hair. I snapped out of my daydream and I realised that I would be seeing them tonight. I would stop at nothing until I was backstage with them.
Although I had been waiting outside the roundhouse all day, 6pm was when the first fan joined me in the line. He was wearing a Tonight Alive shirt and was so attractive with his snakebites. He said he was in a Nickleback cover band so I followed him on twitter. The next to join us were a group of dirty scene teenies in Short Stack merchandise. I spin kicked one in the face and pretended it was an accident (it wasn’t).
As soon as the doors opened I screamed with excitement and anticipation then ran through to centre barrier. Once my place was secured I opened my Drop Dead backpack and took out my eyeliner to reapply. The extremely sexy members of this band that I had been fantasizing about for months would be looking straight at me, I had to look as hot as I could.
Tonight Alive performed amazingly, like never before. I swear each band member looked at me and just before they walked off stage, Whak threw his pick to me. I could tell he was interested. I flirted with the security guard so he told me where Tonight Alive’s dressing room was and let me through. As I turned the corner I noticed their dressing room door was open slightly. I peeked through and saw Jake sitting in nothing but short grey boxer briefs. Matt joined him in his soft Calvin Klein ones and stood behind him massaging his broad muscular back. They talked about Whakaio and how his soft moustache would feel against their upper lip. Funnily enough, soon after Whak entered the room. Matt told him comfortably with a smirk on his face “This is a boxers party, take it off”. Without a second thought Whak stripped off his shirt and jeans. My heart began to pound as I could see where this was leading.
Jake laughed as he said, “Come sit on my lap, Whak and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up” Whakaio walked slowly over to the boys, stroking his moustache as he bit his bottom lip seductively. He jumped on Jake and whispered something sweetly into his ear. I couldn’t quite hear what he was saying so I put my head closer to the entrance. Loosing my balance I suddenly fell through the door. The handle ripped off my shirt and I landed flat in front of the boys. Matt stopped massaging Jake and helped me up wrapping his strong arms around my fragile body. He carried me over to the dressing room table and lay me on top of it. Holding back a smile, he put his face close to mine and asked “Are you okay?” I put my hand to the side of his face, pulling his ear to my mouth and replied “yeah, but I’d feel 100% if Cam were here.” Matt told me he would be back soon, pulled on his jeans and left the dressing room. When he was gone Whakaio leapt from Jake’s lap and skipped over to me like a child frolicking in the meadow. Jake joined us and we talked about the concert and how I was the lucky girl who caught his pick. We all clicked instantly.
“Who’s here to see me?” Cam entered the dressing room, Matt close behind, looking puzzled. Once his eyes fell on me, they narrowed and a mischievous smile played across his charming mouth. Jake walked over and playfully began taking of Cam’s clothes whilst kissing him carelessly on the neck. Matt took of his pants again and the three of them joined Whak and I around the dressing room table. Cam was the first to speak “So, you’re the hot girl that wants to see me” I nodded grinning “It seems you’re the only one with your pants still on” Matt paused “I think its only fair that you take them off. Don’t you agree boys?” We were all smirking and the boys all nodded in agreement and looked at me in anticipation. I smiled and Cam climbed on top of me and began taking off my ripped jeans.
Suddenly the door opened with a bang, slamming into the wall with more force than your average girl could muster. Even in anger Jenna’s voice came out angelically, “What the fuck!? I’m so over this! You boys are so secretive, never telling me what going on or where you are. Who the fuck even is this girl? More importantly why are you all naked!?” Everyone was silent; no one knew what to say so we all just stared at her beautiful face tearing up out of anger like a majestic dolphin stuck in a fishing net.
“Fuck it, I’m through with this band!” Before anyone could make a move I stood up and began to sing Wasting Away. I could see in Jenna’s face that she knew I was better than her. She stormed off, slamming the door behind her. The boy’s all looked at each other beaming, they knew they had a new lead and I knew I was in the band. Not only had my dream come true but as I was caught in a warm embrace. A tear ran down my face and I felt for the first time in my life that I belonged.
